fast and furious

The days are coming fast and furious now!! We spent Thursday making MANY arrangements; Friday we stopped by Han-han's to return something. One of the first things he did was go to his room and get a plastic bag with his sandals inside. He brought them out and ceremoniously plopped them in Tom's duffle bag. Huili, his caregiver, said he knows he's leaving and is counting the days. Saturday we left early to take the train to Taichung where he met the older kids for the first time. They were ALL over him from the first moment they met him. Mei-Yun was back to her old self, hugging and wanting to be held. It was a day of lots of tiger, chasing and feeding them like mama birds feed their babies. They really took to him; Tsung-lin sat on his lap for 15 minutes...first I've seen him do that. He loved dressing up like Superman, strong and powerful. They were really hyped, and my guess is that they've had very little roughhousing from an adult figure; they were plenty tough fighters!

dates and changes and miracles

Tom is back in Taiwan for the final arrangements. Yeah!!! He met Han-han on Wednesday, we spent the night with him and miracles were worked on Thursday. As it was on paper, we get custody of the kids on June 18 in their home county and then didn't have an AIT appointment (US Immigration) until June 25, then maybe not get visas til 28th or 29th. YIKES....8 days with 3 small children in a hotel with a language barrier...I DON'T THINK SO! Everyone seemed slightly baffled by my concerns, but we went to AIT two days in a row, begged and pleaded (in the most polite gracious way, of course) and were able to get our appointment changed to Tuesday the 19th. So, on to arranging flights which is taking hours also since I'm on a different class of tickets etc. Bottom line, we should be able to fly out on the 20th IF a certain AIT computer machine works on Tuesday. So, pray for that!! There was a big party for Han-han when we got there Wednesday, so after it was over, we spent the evening with a mom and her 5 y/o daughter who was in the same orphanage as Han-han (she also fostered him on weekends for 6 months). It was a blast watching them together. This is a video of them running around in Taipei Main Station. He would NOT cooperate for a picture. GOTOVIDEO and another one of them singing--we haven't seen him much with other kids, so extra fun!! GOTOVIDEO

the best advice

In the midst of our preparations to adopt, there was MUCH we did: documents and classes (hours of reading books, blogs and courses) associated with home study and dossier: fingerprinting, physicals, financial forms, 25 page parenting resource plan to show we had researched transracial, medical and older child adopton. Once that was done, there were other lists: trying to learn some Chinese, beds and space for new kids, new clothes, overhaul of house…cleaning, organizing, etc. (above, clothing purchased by the orphanage caregiver) Then there was the list for coming to Taiwan, what to pack-clothes, school related stuff, new kid clothes, gifts and donations, who to care for house and dog. I remember in the midst of all those lists emailing someone I found on a yahoo group who had also adopted siblings from Taiwan and asking her what advice she had in terms of preparing for having three new kids in our home. Her advice brought me back to reality in a different way: Pray for them! So simple, but profound. I had prayed for them, but as a point of preparation like all the other lists??? So we did pray for them by name daily in the time leading up to Taiwan and while here. We prayed they would be prepared to become part of a family, that they would feel peace and comfort. Back in February, I journaled about Isaiah 53:4, “surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” It is literal…he can, will, has borne our griefs. And during that first week of visits, I remember walking in Taipei thinking to myself: They have been prepared by Heavenly Father…they are ready.

flooding, zoo and art museum

Wow!! We had an absolute downpour last night, and schools and offices are closed today. It took us volunteers at Dada School awhile to figure out it was because of flooding...in Zhongli, the tunnel under the train station was flooded. So, they went to Taipei on the bus, and I'm here anticipating Tom returning to Taiwan tonight to finish things up and HEAD HOME!! (source of picture: michaelturton.blogspot.tw) The chorus this week at my visits with the kids was, "Where is ge ge (older brother)"? He was missed, but we muddled through!!! The original Children's Art Museum plan mentioned in a previous post worked out this time around, so Mei-Yun,Tsung-Lin, Mei, our translator and I all traipsed off to the museum. It was wonderfully interactive and hands-on: costumes, a stamp for every area, puzzles, computer art games, an Alice in Wonderland play area complete with visual tricks to the eye, and their favorite, the food preparation and cafe area. (big benefit of going to a place like this was seeing what they gravitated to...now we'll go home and get our tea set and fake food). It also bodes well for future food preparation at our house--more helpers!!! GOTOVIDEO Mei-Yun is a pretty sensitive little girl, and if there is a Chinese speaker around, she's there. BUT, when the translator wasn't around, she was just fine--she'd talk and interact with me more willingly, so just trying to give her a little space. I did a sleepover at Han-han's on Sunday and met the South African family who fostered him on the weekends for a year...fun to hear about that. Then we went to the zoo on Monday-HOT and HUMID! lots of running and stopping for snacks and singing and talking about elephants. Han-han loves music, evidenced by this video clip of him singing about giraffes. GOTOVIDEO Another heartwarming moment on the zoo trip...walking in the train station, Han-han saw another little boy holding his mom's hand and said to her, "This is MY mom." so far, so good!

kids want a family

Having gone through various adoption trainings, we were prepared for worst case scenarios dealing with children who have had much loss, perhaps little connection with caregivers and resultant emotional challenges. But as things have evolved in our visits with the kids in Taiwan for the past three weeks, I’ve observed some interesting things. While I know intellectually that tough situations may surface, what I see in person is gently awe-inspiring. First, kids want parents. Even when Mei-Yun doesn’t want to interact with me, she still willingly and voluntarily calls me mama. Each time Han-han and I exit his apartment building, we see the owners of a little food shop. Without fail, Han-han says hi to them and proudly says, “this is my mom.” I’ve been told that one night, he went to bed, then popped right back out of bed, running into the living room picture of Tom and me saying, “I forgot to say goodnight to mama.” I know that early on the social workers and caregivers steered the kids to me, encouraging them to call me mama and hold my hand or kiss me. And clearly, it ranks up there as fairly odd to be introduced to a complete stranger who doesn’t look or talk like you and be told “this is your mother.” That’s not how a child’s recognition of a parent generally happens. But, in the absence of better scenarios, this is what they’ve got… new parents and I think they intuitively know that this family thing…it’s a big deal, and at some level, they like it. Second, they feel connected to each other as siblings. This aspect of their experiences has been charming to observe. They literally all three met each other for the first time 3 weeks ago. Since then, I have seen all three a few times a week: Han-han in Taipei and Mei-Yun and Tsung-Lin in Taichung. Each time, we watch video on my very small camera of the OTHER missing child and they revel in it. Han-han asked to see the Tsung-Lin video over and over. GOTOVIDEO Tsung-Lin made me go through the camera and find all the video of Han-han. They actually feel connected to each other. It is a small miracle happening right in front of my eyes.

bye travel partner!

Life marches on in Taiwan and Sam is headed home. There is a GREAT folk arts camp every summer in Anchorage (www.alaskafolkarts.com) that I just can't bear for him to miss, so he's off for a different adventure. I had an insight after our May trip to Hong Kong when I was feeling so frustrated about dates and waiting and so forth. The thought came to me that perhaps Heavenly Father has a bigger picture for us that may not be clear to us at present (not perhaps, I know He does). That weekend in Hong Kong, Sam had ridden the bus home alone with 2 new friends. It made quite an impression on him; he talked about going home to Anchorage and doing lots of things on his own--just a new image of himself. (from a kid who doesn't like to check the mail because of bears and moose) Not that I sought out a 12 hour plane ride to grow his independence, but it feels right. He's been an enormous asset here, playing with the kids and keeping me company. He's had some great opportunities to grow here in unique ways.. Independence will matter when mom and dad have three more people needing care. as for adoption updates, the final ruling came. Now we wait for medical exam results to get sent to AIT (equivalent of the US Embassy). At the moment, our AIT interviews could be as early as the 13th or 14th OR the 20th...depending on when they get the medical info. That is sort of what it's feeling like....wait, wait, get new information that you think might move it along, then wait, wait (over and over again).

The kindness of friends

Here's what I woke up to in my email: "Please don't let things on this end worry you."

and "Whatever you need, we can help."

literally, rain on a parched day. THANK YOU everyone for offers of help, prayers, thoughts, emails!!