I have been reading a variety of books re: children and families in my spare time here and it is food for thought in a complicated world.
Little Princes is a book about children taken from their parents in Nepal and a man who is attempting to rescue them and eventually find their families. The children are amazingly resilient, but policies and politics and violence impact their futures daily…food, shelter, the most basic of needs. Some have no memory of parents, but were ironically so loved that they were given to what the parents perceived as a safe haven but was not.
Another, Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother is heartwrenching in its account of birth mothers of girls in China and the decisions and struggles they faced in their society as recently as the past few years. It was SOBERING and thought provoking, the loss, tragedy, and sadness. In China, there appears to be no chance of finding one’s birth parents (in the time frame of this book--through 2006 or so) because of policies and no records and no value placed on girls.
So many factors enter the picture with adoption, and small children who grow up to be big children ask and wonder and hope that the story of their life, from beginning to present, is one of love.
There are as many different reasons for adoption as there are choices and thoughts of individual parents (on the birth and adoptive side). In our kids’ case, there were different factors (than those delineated in Chinese mother) that prevented them from getting the care they needed, and I realize that it is a lifetime journey to love children and teach them of their value and hope that they have enough inner strength to conquer the questions of “where did I come from?” or "was I loved?"
And truly, those are the same questions that all children have. As often as I labor in a child’s behalf and express my love, I still get the question, “Do you love me?” It is the same lessons and love that we strive to share daily, and oh, how important it is to communicate those messages fully, effectively, and impactfully.