honeymoon's over

The honeymoon is officially over!!! We went to Taichung Friday morning and planned to stay overnight at the orphanage through til Saturday afternoon. Their caregiver wanted to use some of their stipend money to get items they needed, so we looked for English/Chinese books with pinyin (simplified Chinese characters that Tsung-Lin can read) and backpacks for both kids. (below Mei-Yun sharing food with Sam)

At the end of six hours, we had backpacks, a great pasta lunch at a place with a beautiful outdoor pond area, a few books and an ice cream cone…great at the end of a hot sweltering day. All was hunky dory...holding hands, "mama, mama," sharing food, smiles, and happiness.

We went back to the orphanage, had showers and dinner and then sat around and chatted. Lots of kids from other floors of the orphanage like to check in on the little ones and play and a few adults passed through too.

At the end of the evening, some of the kids were watching a movie when all of a sudden, I could hear Mei-Yun crying with her face in her lap. I couldn't see that any hitting had been going on...it seemed out of the blue. I went over to check and she wanted nothing to do with me; after a few minutes, the caregiver figured out that she was feeling scared about going to the United States. Deep emotion, little girl...so we took a break from each other...or rather, she took a break from me. She opted to sleep all alone on this great big bed for 5 while Sam, Tsung-Lin, and the 3 other little girls in the "house" and I had a sleepover on the floor.

The next day, things were still standoffish, but my grand plan panned out. All along, I have felt that having Sam and Emma as part of our family would work positively because from the beginning, I actually assumed the kids would attach more to other kids than to adults. So, even though Mei-Yun studiously avoided me all day Saturday, she was all over Sam.

A whole bus full of kids from the orphanage went to a play and she would ONLY sit NOT beside me. Honestly, I am grateful we know how she feels, and I want her to have room to mourn and figure things out. It seems perfectly normal to me to feel scared about the upheaval of one's entire world. I know we're in it for the long haul, and we'll have time help sort things through and love her and heal. No worries.