STRESS VENT

Overall, I have been (in my humble opinion) relatively calm throughout this process. Yesterday (and a few other days this week) was an exception. Saturday, Sam and I went to visit Mei-Yun and Tsung-Lin at the orphanage...first off, Sam made a friend at the train station. At least once a week, an older lady goes on and on in Chinese about how beautiful he is. haha...he's flattered.

The visit itself was somewhat emotionally and mentally challenging for me. Maybe it was just that it was the end of a long week of airline phone calls and coordinating communication about some travel issues with a 16 hour time difference. I had expectations based on conversations last week that we would be going to an art museum with just the 2 kids and an agency translator, but it was all different when we got there.

"Here's your room...you can play with them here for the next 4 hours. Be a mom, do what you want." Okay, do what I want in this room, no English, not my house, not even my kids yet. Both agency worker and orphanage worker were new to me...I hadn't met them yet (in 4 different days of visits)and it sometimes feels like I have to prove myself over and over again, just a little like the feeling when the homestudy is being put together. Not really, but that undertone of "how's she gonna do? can she handle it?"

So...to the actual visit. We arrived, had a storytime with a visitor and then went off to our own place, a room at the orphanage. I had brought barrettes and silly putty for them and this time it was the silly putty that was a hit. Mei-Yun did a little tea party with the silly putty, Sam and Tsung-Lin made awesome creations with very large tinker toys. We played, had lunch and then went outside to the orphanage playground.

To cap the day off, the kids from a few "houses" at the orphanage all went to an elementary school playground across the street. Mei-Yun was a little warmer this time. Definitely not all over me like in the beginning, but she wanted me to push her on the swings and some other little concessions.

I'm glad we've had some time....these weeks to familiarize ourselves with each other and not have to be on warp speed get to know you. Tsung-Lin is generally all boy...chase, roar and jump all over. He can be focused and attentive when he does his homework or listens to a program, but just as energetic and crazy when playing with others.

first visit with Mei-Yun and Tsung-lin

We arrived in Taichung early in the day with the intent of going to the science museum first and then to visit Mei-Yun and Tsung-Lin at the orphanage in the afternoon. Children’s Home has 160 or so children, its own kindergarten, a large playground and charming little garden area. They are divided into smaller groups depending on age and sex and, for an institution, everything looked nice and clean and homey. The kids were sitting at a little table with snacks in the middle, waiting for us to come.

All kinds of adults were around and I was able to sort out later that some worked at the orphanage, one was a social worker from Yunlin County (where kids are originally from; she's overseen this from the beginning) and our translator. The room was perfectly clean, but I didn’t see any toys, so I didn’t know if we were supposed to sit at the table and chat in our EXTREMELY limited Chinese. So I got out the spinning tops that were a success with Han-han and some little sponge capsules that you drop in water and they become African animals. That caught their attention for a good half hour. They hovered over the cup of water, watching and waiting, then squeezing out the little sponge and matching it to the picture on the back of the package. GOTOVIDEO

The orphanage had gotten out photo albums of them and pictures they had drawn and both kids flipped through and proudly showed their pictures to us. After a time, it was decided that we’d go out for dinner…less people and hyperactivity, so we took a taxi to our favorite….yes, McDonalds!! We live less than a mile away from McDonalds in Anchorage and in 4 years, I think I can count on one hand how many times we’ve gone. Ironic, yes? The getting ready was clearly a big deal to them; I doubt there are many outings with just them. They were SO excited and gathering umbrellas, bags and raincoats. GOTOVIDEO

It was a roaring success, from the food to the kids meal toys to the play area. At one point, Mei-Yun had my camera and carefully, with great focus, took pictures of everything in sight…the bathroom door, my water bottle, the shoe bin. It was pointed out that at the orphanage, only the adults have the camera, so she was having a blast, directing me here and there for her photo shoot. (below are some of her photos)

They loved playing with Sam; both were asking our help to do this and that. Mei-Yun kept saying “Mama, guo lai..come here.” They spoke mostly Chinese, but there was a lot of context to help figure out what they wanted and the translator mostly helped with the questions I asked of the orphanage workers.

Everyone had noticed Sam's numerous mosquito bites, so Mei-Yun became the nurse, applying ointment a few times at the orphanage and McDonalds.

All in all, I don’t know that it could’ve gone better. There was the faint glimmer of “What was I thinking?” but I had that fleeting feeling when I was expecting Sam…of “can I do this?” And really, we just do it…parenting is good and hard.... and better and harder, and we do it.